Friday 31 August 2012

Chelsea v Atlético Madrid – live! | Scott Murray

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65 min (aka The Schadenfreude Sixty Seconds): Mata and Cole try to combine down the left, but their passes aren't sticking. Absolutely nothing's going right for Chelsea. "Just think if Chelsea spend another £100m they might be able to win the Super Cup next season," deadpans Andrew Stricker.

63 min: The travelling Spanish are making a racket in the jaunty style. The English lot look thoroughly miserable, which isn't too surprising. But Chelsea fans should retain some perspective: things could be much worse. You could support Aston Villa, for example, as Mark Taylor explains: "It hurts me everytime I see Falcao score. In January 2009 River Plate offered Falcao to Villa for £7m. Martin O'Neill decided to go with Emile Heskey instead. I've never forgiven Martin for this."

60 min: GOAL!!! Chelsea 0-4 Atlético Madrid This is becoming extremely embarrassing now for the champions of Europe. A free kick to Atlético down the right. The ball's clipped into the area, then allowed to pinball to the feet of Miranda, just to the right of goal. He lifts the ball over Cech, off the skittering Cahill's buttocks, and into the net.

58 min: Cristian Rodriguez announces himself early doors, pelting down the left wing in acres, then fizzing a cross into the middle for Falcao. With his back to goal, the hat-trick hero takes the ball down brilliantly, and looks to turn through 180 degrees and hammer a shot goalwards, but Luiz is for once relatively near his man, and stubs out the effort at source.

57 min: Cristian Rodriguez comes on for Adrian Lopez.

56 min: Ivanovic cuts in from the right and threads a pass inside to Hazard, who continues inside before looking for the bottom-right corner. It's a weak effort, though, and easily snaffled by Courtois.

54 min: A corner for Atlético down the right, won by Adrian Lopez. Mario Suarez hammers a shot goalwards, but it's deflected out for another corner, which is plucked from the sky by Cech.

52 min: Atlético have an opportunity to break forward again, Arda Turan running with some determination down the left, but most of their men opt to sit back. They're not quite displaying the drive of the opening period, though you can hardly blame them for this. "If Barcelona still wanna pay an alleged £25m for Luiz, I'd get Roman to bung him on his super yacht in Monaco and bomb round the coast quick-smart," suggests the very wise Fraser from Reigate.

51 min: Koke is very close to breaking clear down the left from a deep position - so deep he's still inside his own half - but nudges the ball out of play. Chelsea, who had been pressing forward, were short at the back there. The ball is shuttled up the other end, where Torres drops a shoulder and tears down the inside-right channel. From the edge of the box, he sends a low shot flying across goal and out of play on the left. Not particularly good, but not egregiously bad either, and Chelsea haven't put together much else tonight, so this goes down as something of an improvement.

49 min: It's not really started, this half, but then you could argue that the match is already over, so.

47 min: Just like in the opening half, Chelsea pass it around awhile at the back. They're seeing plenty of the ball, but then look how that all panned out. "Do you see Premier League sides counter attacking as Madrid do?" asks Nick Thomas. "I think it is a good lesson for every manager watching tonight."

And we're off again, Atlético setting the ball rolling! An English side three down at half time in a European final? We've been here before. So nothing's impossible. Coming on, in the Didi Hamann role, Oscar. The Steve Finnan of the piece? Ramires. Can Chelsea turn this round? It'll be one hell of a task. "Knowing the Chelsea owner's love/lust/obsession with trophies, this performance might cost Di Matteo his job," argues Ian Copestake, in no way trying to start a brouhaha.

No half-time entertainment tonight, as you'll be too busy keeping track of the late moves on Transfer Deadline Day. But while we're on that subject, here's the latest gossip, courtesy of Paul Gordon: "I know this isn't related directly to the game, but it is Chelsea news. A friend of mine living in Cheshire claims to have just seen Michael Owen charge out of the stables of Manor House standing (STANDING) atop a galloping steed, fully decked out in knighty regalia (chain mail vest and that) chanting 'Chelsea 'till I die'. It seems he's headed towards the M1. According to Google Maps he should be on Fulham Road in three hours 38 minutes (in current traffic). Unless he ditches the horse soon enough he might not make Stamford Bridge before the deadline. Good to see he's showing a little more enthusiasm for the game than usual. Or it might just be a bizarre ritual he performs on his horses once every transfer window to keep them in shape, along with riling up my friend Strange Dave who stalks little Mickey and has been totally incorrect on Michael Owen's movement in every window since August 2005. Still, like a broken clock is right twice a day, a man with severe mental illnesses may be right twice every seven years."

HALF TIME: Chelsea 0-3 Atlético Madrid Football Falcao, eh? Bloody hell! The look on poor Fernando Torres' coupon as he departs down the tunnel!

44 min: GOAL!!! AND A SECOND HAT-TRICK THIS WEEK FOR FALCAO! Chelsea 0-3 Atlético Madrid A corner for Chelsea, won down the left by Mata. So what happens? You know what happens. Atlético clear, then stream upfield, down the right. Arda Turan is allowed to run at the area, and run, and run, and run, and run. He eventually rolls the ball out left to Falcao, who takes one touch and smashes the ball past Cech. In no way can it be argued that this hasn't been coming.

42 min: Atlético have streamed forward three times in the last two minutes. They can't quite make the right pass, so Chelsea get away with it, but they're in an awful mess at the minute.

39 min: Adrian Lopez is this close to breaking free down the left, but he's blown up (correctly) for offside. But once again the Chelsea back line are all over the shop. I've not seen Chelsea ripped to shreds like this since the days of Andre Villas-Boas Bobby Campbell.

35 min: This is a ludicrous double miss by Atlético. Arda Turan breaks clear down the inside right. He's offside, so what follows is a slapstick sort of justice. Turan draws Cech and slides the ball into the six-yard area, where Adrian Lopez waits to tap into an empty net. Instead, he somehow manages to kick the ball into his own back. What an adroit piece of clownsmanship. Still, the ball's hanging invitingly in mid air, waiting for Falcao, rushing in, to head home. The striker's not perfect - he's near it, but not perfect - and nuts the ball against the left-hand upright. Dear me, those were some real komik kutz.

33 min: This is a bit better from Chelsea, with Mikel attempting to dictate the tempo of play awhile just outside the Madrid area. It's a bonny period of possession, but they can't find a way through a determined back line, with only Ivanovic, bursting down the right, ever threatening to get in behind. Still, baby steps and all, and at least Atlético aren't Luiz-worrying down the other end of the pitch.

31 min: A free kick to Atlético down the right. It's lumped into the area. Cech, perhaps mindful that his defenders are running around like a circus troupe, races out to punch clear. It's just as well he did, because there were only red-and-white shirts near that dropping ball. Chelsea are, currently, a shower. "Whoever is controlling Luiz via his Playstation in the crowd is clearly drunk," chirrups Gary Neville Ian Copestake.

29 min: This should have been 3-0. Atlético pour forward, five on three. The ball's slid out right to Gabi, who glides into the area but hits a poor shot straight at Cech. Corner, from which Mario Suarez blasts a header straight at the keeper. Chelsea are second best by some distance here. They're being outplayed in an embarrassing fashion at the moment, with all sorts of gaps opening up at the back.

27 min: Luiz wins a challenge with Falcao! Yes, he really does it! A long ball down the right, the striker crashing to the ground, the defender making off with the ball. "Without wishing any ill on him, I can't help but feel Chelsea should be stronger with Mikel lying in the centre circle (16mins) than when he's 'playing'," quips Matt Dony. "Did Man U really get that angry over him going to Chelsea? It seems so hard to believe, now."

25 min: The Atlético fans are making one hell of a noise. And who can blame them? Chelsea look punch drunk.

22 min: A pause while Ramieres gets some attention for knee knack. He'll be OK, writes Dr Murray the quack, he's just taken a bit of a belt. Meantime, here's Dave Correia: "For those that didn't know prior to the match, but surely know now, Luiz could never handle Falcao when he played in Portugal and nothing has changed since he went to England."

19 min: GOAL! Chelsea 0-2 Atlético Madrid. This is such a superlative finish by Falcao. There's a burst up the Atlético inside-right channel. Luiz can't stop the ball flying to Falcao's feet, just outside the area, though he probably should have cut it out. Falcao pauses for the ball to roll out from under his studs, nudges it to the left, taking Cole out of the picture, opens his body, and guides a beautiful effort into the top-left corner. Cech had no chance whatsoever, that was sailing serenely into the net from the nanosecond it left Falcao's boot. This, ladies and gentlemen, is football.

18 min: Luiz crosses into the Madrid area from the left. The ball's cleared, but only to Cahill, who has a half-decent dig goalwards. Ramires is in the way, and attempts to flick it on. But he's offside.

16 min: With Mikel lying around in the centre circle like he's down Monte Carlo beach on a towel, Mario Suarez sweeps a ball wide left to the dangerous Adrian Lopez, who bombs all the way to the box down the wing. He cuts inside and looks to have overrun it, but still gets a shot away from a tight-ish angle. Cech parries well. Chelsea want to watch themselves, they're all over the shop down that flank.

13 min: Cutting in from the left, Hazard looks to beat his compatriot Courtois with a rising drive towards the top-right corner. But there's too much juice in the shot, and it flies over the bar. Still, this is much better from the European champions.

12 min: Ramires sweeps the ball wide right for Mata, who curls in a cross towards Torres, on the edge of the area. He chests down for Lampard, whose low drive is deflected, then cushioned, by defensive legs.

9 min: Chelsea have responded well to that setback, with a couple of charges through Mata and Ramires down the right. Both times the player reaches the byline, but can't thread a cross into the centre. "Falcao's a force of nature," opines Deepu Sebastian Edmond. "For all the Messis and the Ronaldos, this man is going to end up with the most memorable youtube compilation of all time."

6 min: GOAL! Chelsea 0-1 Atlético Madrid. Chelsea are rocking alright. Chelsea's back line is ripped apart by a simple pass down the middle. Falcao romps after it, picking up possession down the inside-left channel. He takes one step into the area, steadies himself, draws Cech, and dinks an exquisite chip towards the right-hand post. The ball hits the woodwork, and spins into the net, beyond the despairing tootsies of Luiz, who is sliding in at speed. What an amazing finish. Upfield, former charge Fernando Torres looks on in stunned disbelief.

5 min: Filipe Luis bombs down the left again, and lobs a cross to the far post, where Falcao hooks back. Cole cushions a header into Cech's hands. Chelsea are rocking here.

3 min: A first burst of play from Atlético, and they're so close to taking the lead. First Adrian Lopez takes a jog down the inside-left channel and scrapes a poor shot goalwards. It's cleared, but the ball's soon coming back at Chelsea, Filipe Luis being set free into the area down the left. He hacks the ball into the middle for Falcao, who belts a shot past Cech and off the crossbar. Falcao is then upended by Luiz in the breakdown, but that's not a penalty. Although it could have been. Be nice to see that again. Who'd be a referee?

2 min: Chelsea are knocking this around at the back a lot. Atlético have only touched the ball twice, and that's to throw the ball in and concede possession immediately.

They line up, having popped their fancy trophies on bespoke plinths. A pompous and slightly preposterous Uefa song is played - think anthem of despotic regime set to pulsating Europop beat - and then high-fives are exchanged. And then Chelsea kick off!

The teams are out! Chelsea in their all-blue strip with the all-new golden sheen of champions. Atlético are decked out in their famous red and white stripes - although they've had to change their blue shorts to red, the European Cup winners getting first choice. "The bench would suggest that Chelsea really should move for another defender before the day is over, no?" wonders Oliver Pattenden. Do you think they're made of money? Not everyone can throw it about like Manchester City. Speaking of transfers, rumours abound that Michael Essien - signally absent from the Chelsea bench - has been left out because there's a possibility of a loan deal. To, and you'll like this, Arsenal. Best to keep an eye out for that on our rolling Transfer Deadline Day blog. Meanwhile you'll note Daniel Sturridge is on Chelsea's bench, which suggests he won't be going to either Liverpool or Tottenham Hotspur.

And perhaps the most relevant bit: the recent form. Chelsea have, of course, started the season well. They lost the Charity Community Shield at Villa Park against Manchester City, but did still score twice, although who doesn't against City these days? Then it's been a perfect start to their Premier League campaign: a win at Wigan followed by two more at home to Reading and Newcastle United. Atlético, meanwhile, drew their opening La Liga game at Levante, but sprung into life against Athletic Bilbao with a 4-0 win at the Estadio Vicente Calderón. It is ón!

Some bad news for Chelsea: Atlético have won their last 12 European matches. Thirteenth time unlucky? We'll see, but they don't mind playing English opposition: the culmination of their 2010 Europa League winning campaign saw them dispatching Liverpool and then Fulham.

Some more good news for Chelsea: They're undefeated against Spanish opposition, home and away, in their last 13 competitive fixtures. That Barcelona, the supposed greatest club side of all time? Pah! Valencia were sent packing in Chelsea's victorious European campaign last season too, 3-0 at Stamford Bridge during the group stage.

If the head-to-head record between these two teams is anything to go by, we're in for a cracker. They've only played each other twice, visiting each other in the group stage of the 2009/10 Champions League. Chelsea were the first hosts, and treated their guests most shoddily, skelping them 4-0, two-goal Salomon Kalou the hero (Frank Lampard and a Luis Amaranto Perea own goal the other scoreboard botherers). Chelsea looked like winning the return in Madrid, too, after a late Didier Drogba double blast, but Kun Aguero equalised in injury time, bookending the scoring having also notched the opener. So that's four goals guaranteed, then. Good-o.

Kick off: 7.45pm BST, 8.45pm in the local Monaco money.

Referee: Damir Skomina (Slovenia)

Meanwhile the Europa League winners name Adrian Lopez in attack: Courtois, Juanfran, Miranda, Godin, Filipe Luis, Mario Suarez, Gabi, Adrian, Koke, Turan, Falcao.
Subs: Sergio Asenjo, Raul Garcia, Rodriguez, Silvio, Cata Diaz, Diego Costa, Emre.

But as if to prove nobody's taking this totally seriously, Premier League benchwarmer Frank Lampard has been recalled to the line-up of the European champions: Cech, Ivanovic, Cahill, Luiz, Cole, Mikel, Lampard, Ramires, Hazard, Mata, Torres.
Subs: Turnbull, Romeu, Oscar, Moses, Meireles, Sturridge, Bertrand.

So OK, the curtain raiser to the new season of European club football never gets anyone's juices flowing. But a European trophy is a European trophy is a European trophy, an additional line on the old roll of honour, so there are worse ways to spend a Friday evening. Both teams have won this pot once before - Chelsea in 1998, Atlético two years ago - so whoever triumphs tonight will join a relatively short list of multiple Super Cup winners: Milan (5), Barcelona (4), Ajax (3), Liverpool (3), Anderlecht (2), Juventus (2) and Valencia (2). An achievement not to be sniffed at. It is on!

There follows a list of supporters energised - really energised - by the Uefa Super Cup:
1. Chelsea
2. Atlético Madrid


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